The Secret Muscle No One Talks About

Most people grow up learning that sex is about intimacy, chemistry, compatibility, and trust, but no one grows up learning that there's a group of muscles sitting quietly between their hips that can completely change how sex feels. If you ever feel as though sex feels good, painful, disconnected, or just "not the same anymore", it might be because of your pelvic floor.

The pelvic floor actually holds an important role as it supports your bladder, uterus or prostate, bowels, hips, and even your spine. It also plays a role in arousal, lubrication, erections, orgasm intensity, and overall comfort during sex.

If the pelvic floor is too tight, sex may feel painful or sharp. If it's too weak, you may feel less pleasure and the sensations might not be as much as it used to be. And when it's uncoordinated, people may struggle to relax, enjoy, or experience climax. This doesn't mean something is wrong with you, it just means you weren't taught how your body works.

Why Do We Not Realise Pelvic Floor Matters

It's no surprise that not many people know about this when conversations about sex in Malaysia are already hushed and deemed as shameful or uncomfortable to be discussed loudly. 

But because of this silence, no one understands that living with discomfort, numbness, pain, dryness, or difficulty to enjoy intercourse is not a "personality issue" or a "relationship problem". They also start to internalise the blame by thinking that they didn't try hard enough, they're stressed, that it's normal to feel this way, or that they're getting older.

Sexual Wellness Isn’t Just Emotional, It’s Physical

Our culture teaches us a thousand things not to do, but very few things about how our own bodies work. We were never told that pelvic tightness can make sex painful. We were never taught that shallow breathing and tension influence arousal. We weren’t shown how muscles, blood flow, and mobility affect pleasure. So when sex becomes uncomfortable or numb, people assume it’s a personal failure instead of a physical clue. And because shame keeps these topics buried, many never realise the answer is anatomical, not emotional.

Good sex isn’t only about feelings and intimacy, it’s also about muscles, blood flow, mobility, breathing, and posture. And the pelvic floor is the foundation of all of that. Tight hips, lower back pain, stress and shallow breathing, long hours sitting in an office? It all affects your pelvic floor. But the problem is not that people don’t care, it’s that nobody taught us this.

Why Your Gym Routine Might Be Making Things Worse

Here’s the part no one warns you about. A lot of common workouts, especially high-intensity ones, actually strain the pelvic floor. When the body is already tight, tense, or unbalanced, doing more crunches, heavy lifts, or fast-paced routines can make things worse.

This is where physio-informed movement makes a difference. Pelvic-safe exercises, core stability, mobility work, and proper breathing techniques can transform how the pelvic floor works, and in turn, how sex feels.

Most physio-exercises focus on breathing, stability, posture, and releasing tension instead of adding more. It teaches your body to work with your pelvic floor, not against it. It reconnects what stress, sitting, and silence have slowly disconnected.

But let’s be honest, most traditional workouts aren’t designed with the pelvic floor in mind. They’re male-centric, intense, and sometimes worsen symptoms like leakage, pain, or tightness. That’s why physiofitness matters.

Programs like FlexMob Physiofitness, which integrates physiotherapy principles into accessible movement, reflect this new shift in understanding, offering a space where women can safely reconnect with parts of their body they were never taught to notice.

You Deserve to Understand the Body You Live In

Pleasure isn't just psychological. Confidence isn't just emotional. And good sex isn't just about chemistry. It's also anatomy, muscles, and understanding your body in ways most of us were never taught.

Your pelvic floor could be affecting your sex life, and understanding it could completely change how you experience intimacy. You deserve pleasure that isn’t confusing, painful, or quietly tolerated. And you deserve spaces, online and offline, that let you learn about your body without fear or judgement.

Sometimes, better sex doesn’t start with a "better" partner or someone more experienced. It starts with finally listening to your own body. You deserve knowledge, comfort, pleasure that feels natural, and a space that helps you explore that safely. And if you're still unsure where to begin, Pistil is one of the few places in Malaysia that can help you understand your needs without stigma.

Author by Rina Ho, Pistil Team
This article has been reviewed by Lavinia Chew, Physiotherapist from Flexmob Physiofitness, Pistil’s Clinic Network

This article was originally featured on The Rakyat Post.

💗 A healthier pelvic floor starts with understanding your body.
📲 Get the facts and support you deserve at www.pistil.io